No Fairy Tale for Cleveland… Yet

Jim here, "Sweet Jim," has asked me to do a guest blog. I’m new to this whole blogging/writing thing and was thinking why on God’s green earth would I want to spend my precious, precious time writing and then he gets to post my words on his page? Newbie has no clue how the blog-diggity world works yet and let’s face it, fast is not the speed at which I write. Drive, yes. Write, NO. Not too proud to admit that. So Jim, um yeah, thanks for that very gracious offer. Sounds sooo appealing? He assured me that it would behoove me and I guess since he is a friend in real-life and not just on the Internet, I would believe him. (Whispering under my breath: Actually, I read up on guest blogs on my own. Jim was correct. It was unanimous and the blogosphere had spoken. No offense to Jim here, but a girl’s gotta check things out for herself, ya know?) So thank you Jim, for real, sans any and all sarcasm. I hope he likes this, but then again, if he doesn’t, he won’t post it, you won’t be reading it and he and I will no longer be friends, in real-life, in Cyberspace, or anywhere. Oh man, kicking the sarcasm is hard. That lasted all of one sentence. A twelve step program might be in order. Whew. Anyone else outta breath?

All-righty then, on to business. A guest blog topic? Previous posts about family, friends, pets, shoes, in comparison to a strip-club, marijuana, baseball? Oh boy, just a tad bit incongruous. This should be easy. Oops, that sarcasm again. Let’s see, Jim and I met through mutual friends several years ago at the Cleveland Metroparks Zoo’s "Twilight at the Zoo" event. Just as a little side note, he was sporting an "Afternoon Delight" t-shirt. My mind is a wasteland of stupid useless information, albeit sometimes amusing tidbits. Anywho, our zoo is one of the many positive things Cleveland has to offer and Cleveland is something he and I both have in common. Ding. Ding. Ding. We have a winner. Cleveland, ah Cleveland, we love you and know you are great but it is that unfortunate city beaten down and the butt of never-ending jokes. The mistake by the lake. The city with the combustible river. And, of course, the city constantly wallowing in its own sports misery. Hard to discuss Cleveland and not have it lead in some way to sports. The most recent kung-fu kick to our city’s kahunas? "Our" former self-proclaimed "King" winning it all for Miami. Doubled-over. Ouch.

So yeah, I’m going there, I am going to write about sports. Oh, if you could only hear how hard I am laughing at myself right now. Now, it’s not going to be what you think. A sports statistician, I. Am. Not. And when I say sports, I mean basketball, and when I say basketball, what I really mean is one ring-wearing athlete in particular.

LeBron, to me, essentially was an "employee" during his tenure here. Yeah, yeah, I know he’s a superstar, a role model and it’s much more intricate than just being an "employee," but work with me here. He did his "job" very well, excluding some pitiful performances in the post season and literally quitting the game and the team long before the final buzzer in Game 5 against Boston in 2010. He was free to leave for any reason whatsoever, as any employee of a company is free to do. It was the Cleveland Cavaliers not the Cleveland Mafia. He did not owe it to us to stay. Of course we hoped he would. Loyalties were discounted. Promises were broken. You never want to see a good "employee" go. Yadda, yadda, yadda. Our hopes were shattered. Shit happens.

But how he left? Deplorable. Standard professional protocol would have you announce your intention to resign in person to your boss. You let them know you appreciate all they and the company has done for you, but your decision is final, you’d prefer not to be made any counteroffers as you made your decision to leave very carefully. Always a difficult situation for both parties, but there’s certainly a right way to handle it. We then all move on. We celebrate your new opportunity and wish you well at a going away party with cake and drinks and merriment. Done. Clearly, it wouldn’t have been quite that simple for LeBron or for Cleveland, but did it really have to go down the way it did? I think not.

Decorum was tossed aside and we were strung along and spoon fed lies with an accompanying tasteless side-dish of a very public slap in the face. All this to a "company" and city that adored him. For that, Cleveland had every right to be upset.

So he wins in Miami and deserved to win. Can’t take that away from him. However, just because he won down there like he proclaimed he would does not mean that he couldn’t have done the same thing in Cleveland. That would have been some story. Hometown kid from humble beginnings wins the championship for his home team. The Cleveland curse is lifted. He’s the city’s hero. A bronzed statue is erected and people come from far and wide to gaze upon this "King" and take pictures with it. That there is good stuff, the stuff fairy tales are made of… But it wasn’t so…

I don’t live my life expecting fairy tales. I work hard for what I have. I’m certainly not sitting around waiting for a white picket fence to get dropped onto my front lawn. Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo. Heads up! Plop. Thank you Fairy Godmother. Or for my prince charming to come riding in on his noble steed. Yet, I have kissed more frogs in my lifetime than I could shake a stick at and I’d like to beat a few of them with said stick, but we’ll leave the amphibian abuse for another blog.

Nonetheless, I like a happy ending and this really could have been a fairy tale come to life, like "Beauty and the Beast." Belle was the "Beauty" in the story, whose love for a "Beast" breaks an enchanted spell and transforms him back into a prince.

Let’s rename Beauty here, we shall call her LeBelle. Yeah that’s right, for the sake of my little analogy here I am going to compare a NBA star to a Disney princess. The Beast’s plight was not LeBelle’s fault but she held the power to soothe the savage beast and to break the curse once and for all. In this story, however, LeBelle had a secret dalliance for a couple of years with two other guys and eventually ran off with them. She lived happily ever after in a land they call South Beach. And for the Beast? Well, hell hath no fury like a Beast scorn. I don’t care for this ending. I much prefer the original and the version starring Prince Cleveland.

The Cavs are now rebuilding and committed to not give one "Beauty" the power to make or break the team again. It’s less of a "Beauty and the Beast" situation and more of a "Snow White and the Eight Dwarfs" (as seven isn’t enough). We will enjoy every minute of watching all the hard working "dwarfs" march along until we at long last hear "Hi Ho Hi Ho, it’s off to win the finals we go." One season, one team, one day, the story for Cleveland will eventually end with "and they all lived happily ever after." Cleveland deserves a fairy tale ending.

 

The End.

 

Sherrie's blog, Sherrie,Sherrie, Quite Contrary…. offers a humorous look at life for single woman and mothers after 39.

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